i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
