I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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