My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
