Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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