My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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