It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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