To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
