It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
