What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
