just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
