YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am midnight drunk by noon
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
