...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
