idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
