I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
