im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
