yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
