Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
