i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize