even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
