still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
