who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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