We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
