I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
