It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize