West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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