is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
