we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
