you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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