That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is wine microwaveable?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
