I smell stomach acid.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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