he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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