8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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