you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
