hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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