I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
