Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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