How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize