i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
