and next time when you feel me up, do it right
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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