omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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