i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
