better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
