PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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