He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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