I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
