Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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