Cold hands, warm shart.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize