it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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