i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
this is an emotional support booty call
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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