why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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