how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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