yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
