girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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