Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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