found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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