im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
